Hinata Boardoms : Kwarto ni Keitaro

let us proceed!

2011-11-16T20:32:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a blast.

I bought an electronic keyboard for Shinobu-chan. It's a gift. I almost forgot to give it to her; that would've been totally embarrassing. And yes a computer keyboard is electronic. But I'm talking about a piano. It's a 61-key keyboard. I'm really clueless what to get her. It was a rush buy and I hope she likes it. I didn't want to miss giving her a present, as I recall that the last time I forgot to give a present to a birthday celebrant ended in a disaster. For my part, I felt terrible. And as sad as it sounds, I didn't have enough time to pick Shinobu-chan's gift either. Like I said, I bought the keyboard in a rush. I really really hope it becomes useful.

I've been planning the Christmas party as well. But I've been telling myself that I should let someone deal with it instead. When I remembered that Shinobu-chan's birthday is around the corner, I invited her mom and dad first. Initially, I've had a lot of difficulty finding them. I felt like a private investigator. Still I firmly believed that they should come. I recall that Shinobu-chan's parents weren't present during her last birthday. Clearly, Shinobu-chan want her parents to come -- better yet -- get back together. So I didn't stop looking even if I was struggling. Eventually, I've discovered where her dad work. I asked Shinobu's dad for her mom as well. And fortunately, both of them made it in the party.

The party was crazy. I got soaked from the last party game called command and conquer. I came up with that game. It's about two teams, throwing water balloons to the opposing team. But the challenge is, all of the players must be blindfolded except for one person for each team -- that player serves as the eyes and the commander. Fun, huh?

Shinobu-chan went to sleep around 11pm, while we continued with the party. The others slept on the couch and Kitsune-san was asleep with a bottle of sake while the karaoke machine was still playing. Oh yeah, Kitsune-san was still holding the mic. How graceful of her. We were all over the living room. It reminds me of the party that I had after finishing the autobiography. I slept on the floor by the way and my pillow was a stack of DVDs.

who gets the part?

2011-11-10T14:33:00.000+08:00

I went out for some coffee this morning. The streets are now getting filled with Christmas decorations. I thought: ahh... this is the life. My much anticipated break is just around the corner. My lectures end early. Final exams are still weeks away. And I can rest easy after lectures.

I shouldn't waste this break. It requires careful planning, just like our coming party at the inn. It's been settled that we'll have it in the apartment. Everybody's going to be invited. So apart from living expenses, we need money for the party and not to mention the gifts. Then there's also the New Year's party. I'm not really good organizing these things. I wonder who could help set it up. I'm sure there's someone who can make an awesome party.

this is what the season brings

2011-11-07T17:47:00.000+08:00

When I heard the Christmas songs playing in the hallway, it brought me authentic smiles on my face. All that trouble from everything that happened, I feel like it's worth it. If life is all good then how can you still enjoy the good things in life? I mean, if there's no distinction between the difficulties and relaxation, how can I truly enjoy a time off?

I've managed to save some money too. Thanks to my work. Yes, work is exhausting and it's a drag. But it makes sense now. I can get a lot of things on Christmas. But it's not good to have money when you don't know where to spend them; or when you don't know what to buy. Having money can be frustrating especially when you're scared to spend them. I mean I don't want to regret buying something I didn't want. But what upsets me most is not being able to do anything at all because was too afraid. It's Christmas. We should do something.

Let's see. Since I was in the mood for Christmas, I asked everyone to gather around to meet for the Christmas party. We had talked about the price for the exchange gift. And apparently, we're at a stalemate whether to hold the party here or somewhere else. I vote here.

I love these moments. Mark my words. Because I think other people would get it as well. When you're in college, when there's no exam, no homework,no nothing, it's just great. I'm on my way to the final exams.

this is what I need

2011-10-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

October has passed and for two months there's been a sour taste that lingered in my mouth. At 8 in the morning, I received a phone call from the lobby. Shinobu-chan knocked on my door and told me that it was a phone call from Toudai. I hurriedly got out of bed and I heard, "Keitaro, hurry! Sensei wants to see you!"

"What? Who is this?" it was my colleague.

"It's the professor! He's awake!" I didn't even shower, I just washed my breath and ran outside. It's fall now and it was cold. I forgot my coat. But I didn't care and I kept running. When I boarded up the bus, everyone was staring at me, because I was a mess with my bedhead.

For two months, I was just lingering around the apartment. Doing nothing. For two months, I was wandering around the city. Doing nothing. For two months, I minded my own business. I did nothing. Plain and simple nothing. I was paralyzed by failures after failures. It was a personal job for me to finish that task, a task entrusted to me by my professor. I thought that if I could do that job, then I'm cut out for literature. Or at least any linguistic art. It was my first job that's supposed to be my expertise. I studied for it. We made sure the autobiography was properly written. But since the accident occurred, since we got drunk in campus, since the department threatened to scrap our work, my life got really frustrating.

"Keitaro... good to see you." and now I think we can set things back in motion now.

even when you're having fun

2011-08-03T09:02:00.001+08:00

I haven't explained what happened during Kanako's birthday. I'm just really depressed right now. If I haven't told Kitsune-san about it, if she wasn't there to be my outlet for this horrible feeling, I would've broken down. I've been working so hard. What happened?

"There's been a car crash... sensei... He's in the hospital right now. And he's in a coma." This is what woke me up on during that Monday morning. When I left the room, I saw everyone involved in the project, silent and mourning. "The department of Literature also gave us a notice that the autobiography will be reviewed... most likely scrapped, Keitaro-san. This is all our fault for being too full of ourselves." my colleague remarked.

Everyone didn't go home. I couldn't go home. It's like everyone felt responsible. Sensei was drunk but we made that party. Someone could've at least told Sensei to stay in campus instead of making him drive home. The air was very serious. It was hard to breathe. And when the brain doesn't get enough air, it suffocates. It loses itself. I couldn't think straight.

How could we do this?

I've never seen so much emotion explode in the room. There was tension, people blamed other people. There was sadness, the students were very concerned about the accident and Sensei's family. There was grief, my friends admit that it's their fault. There was frustration, some of us felt that everything was a waste. There was confusion, no one knew what to do. There was grief, my friend who celebrated his birthday was affected the most; I mean, it was a birthday party as well.

We decided to come home around 11pm. I was really tired. I was dragging my feet. I was looking down. And similar to hypothermia, I wanted sleep so bad, my mind was telling me that it's fine to sleep on the pavement. However, when I saw the crowd and the lights on the Hinata Sou's lobby, I didn't know how to face everybody.

It was Kanako's birthday.

"I... I forgot." I said to everybody. And Naru gave me a straight uppercut.

I'm tired. After the party. I didn't spend much time with everyone. I went straight to bed. after ten minutes of sleep, or nap, or dozing or whatever you call it, I became wide awake. I was being haunted by what happened in campus. I went out for some fresh air. And Kitsune-san saw me. She joined me and I told her what happened. I didn't care anymore and I just stayed up until sunrise.

Today's Wednesday now, and I still wasn't able to sleep right. My colleagues said that they haven't received any news about Sensei or about the department's decision yet. So I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

sparkplug

2011-07-31T23:32:00.000+08:00

It's done! Well... almost. We've finally finished 85% of the autobiography! With the help of some peers, and by staying in campus to thoroughly work on this book, we were able to finish the hardest hurdle in writing the book. We've been able to lay out the very essential information, the references, the drafts and we've gathered enough photos to complement each page. Yes, each page has a photo. I cannot gather these photos by myself! -- which I was very worried about. However, I didn't know my professor hired somebody else with that task. He really didn't tell me anything. He told me to make this book with a picture on each page and that was it.

"It looks like a picture book, isn't it?" one of my peers noticed.

"Yeah, it does." I said. Then my professor entered the room.

"Everyone listen up!" everyone in the room turned their attention to him. And we saw a cake. "I'm very happy today! We're practically finished and we have a birthday celebrant today as well! This day is the best! Otanjoubi omedetou!" eh?

"S-sensei! You knew?" the fellow who said this book looked like a picture book is his birthday?

"Kampai, man!" I said.

We partied all day and all night. Sensei said work would resume on Wednesday. We were about to polish everything, and the editor will come before Tanabata Festival, August 6 at the earliest. I guess everyone, even the editor, wants to go.

I've been staying in campus for a week. I just came home in the past Tuesday to get some things and then I hurried off. I told everyone, especially Shinobu-chan, that I would be staying in Todai for this work. But since we're almost finished, I can go home tomorrow.

Today was a very lively day. After the birthday party, a few of the people wanted to go home. But most of the guys and gals are still here partying. I'm in the study room right now because I wanted to go to sleep. Yeah, ok. I'll go home tomorrow. But I have this feeling that I may be forgetting something.

way too early for what?

2011-07-22T20:23:00.000+08:00

Kana-chan's been extra clingy lately. Doesn't she get tired of hanging around with me? While I went out to buy some fruits, Kanako tagged along. I went back to the apartment and noticed my hair; I need a haircut. And then Kanako insisted that she'd come along too. I told her that she'd get bored waiting for me, but Kana-chan didn't say that she would get bored. After getting my haircut, I went to Toudai to consult my professor about writing his biography, and Kana-chan tugged my shirt as we walked to campus.

The transit line was packed and Kana-chan looked really uncomfortable with all the crowd. I tried to lean in front of her so people wouldn't crowd her. When we reached my professor's office, I told her to wait for me outside. I talked to professor and gave him an update about my progress; I showed him my work. He was pleased and then I left. But I couldn't find Kana-chan in the hallway.

"Kanako!" I searched outside and I saw her looking at the garden.

"Nii-sama. The flowers here look great." she says.

"Yeah. Let's go."

As we got off yet another packed train, we passed by a flower shop. I didn't mind it, but Kanako was so engrossed. Without saying any word, her face told me what it meant.

"Excuse me, ma'am." I asked the owner. "Can I have a bundle, please?" and then she hands me these colorful flowers. I didn't know the names of the flowers. "Can you plant them too?" I asked just in case.

"Most definitely." I gave them to Kanako. She was so quiet while we walked home. Did I do a bad move? When we arrived in the apartments.

"Nii-sama. It's way too early for it."

"Huh?" then she leaned on me and kissed me on the cheek.

no crossing sign

2011-07-18T23:21:00.001+08:00

Sometimes our problems are simply overwhelming. I never knew that I'd be doing most of the work. And right now, I'm tired. I ask myself if this is the best that I can do. I may just be experiencing a burnout -- a chronic one. But I feel so sad thinking that this is all I can do. I can't even write further. That book isn't going to finish on its own. My first impression in writing a book shouldn't be too sour, because I plan to write more books in the future. I need help. I'm doing my best. I really am.

an autobiography and paranoia

2011-07-12T18:48:00.001+08:00

My professor had given me work for the summer. He said that I should write a book for his autobiography. I couldn't believe what he's asking me, but he was dead serious. It was a daunting task to actually write a book. But I know someone home who does them, so I said yes. I could ask for Kitsune-san's help. She knows these things more than I do.

Kitsune-san said that writing an autobiography is not really difficult. More work comes from the person who I would be writing for, my professor. And she said that I should ask if I'm going to be working on this project alone. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'll be working as a ghost writer instead. I wasn't really sure, but I'll ask him again.

On another very far side, I feel like I'm being watched. I had this feeling since yesterday that I feel a presence watching me. It's very creepy. Like right now, while I'm writing this-- urk... I don't know. The feeling is strong. It's very unusual, but I don't see anyone or... anything-- Brr... I'm shivering. Crap! Get a hold of yourself, Keitaro!

I can almost feel the summer.

2011-06-04T17:00:00.006+08:00

I was able to save for my new digital camera! Oh, man! What a monumental feat, Urashima-san! It cost me almost ten thousand grand. Mom and Dad don't know if they should slap their forehead or not after I bought this thing. Sure it's expensive but the quality of the image is unmatched! And then dad wanted to borrow it.

Summer's almost here, I can here the cicadas chirping already. Shinobu-chan is still training for her track and field. She also made a joke how the the training gave her a tan. I wonder what would Kaolla-kun look like if she gets a heavy tan when she joins Shinobu-chan on the track.

My university is looking for assistants. I've already served Seta-san during the past. It's funny that he's not looking to provide work. I need the money fast, because I bought this camera --Not that I'm blaming it or I regret buying it.

"Uwaa. It's so hoooot." how come it's hot tonight?! Oh... I forgot to adjust my room thermostat. All this tine, I can't believe it's still on heater. "So that's why it's always cold in the hallway!"

do your best, Shinobu-chan

2011-05-25T19:54:00.003+08:00

I had quite a surprise in the morning.

It was about 6AM and it was really quiet inside. I can hear the morning birds singing ohayou. What an ironic fate as I tried to wake up really early and the quiet morning is somewhat singing a lullaby for me to go back sleeping. It was very still.

When... "GYAAAAAH!" I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"EEP! S-s-s-senpai?" I turned around and it was Shinobu-chan. She surprised the toast out of me. "Gomen, Keitaro-senpai. I didn't me to startle you."

"Ahaha, me startled? It was just a reaction to stimuli. Yeah that's it." she's wearing runners. "Shinobu-chan..."

"Ahh this, senpai? We have track and field practice today. Sorry I wasn't able to make breakfast."

"Iie iie, it's no trouble at all. You have a match today?"

"We have practice, I'll make the best dinner later to it up to yo-- I mean for everyone. Jaa." she hurried.

"See ya later. Good luck on your practice."

And then Shinobu-chan scurried back. "Ohayou gozaimasu, senpai." I just scratched my cheek. What a pleasant surprise. I didn't know Shinobu-chan is a member of the track team. I wonder if Moto-chan is also a member of the track team.

when it rains

2011-05-18T22:17:00.004+08:00

"It's still raining?" it rained all day. And according to the news, it's going to rain throughout the night. Nice.

The day was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Since everybody couldn't get out of the house, we spent passing the time inside the apartment. Everyone had their own activity; Shinobu-chan was reading a cookbook, Kaolla-chan watched the rain fall on the hotspring, I looked for Sara-chan but I forgot she's with her dad for the past couple of days, Kana-chan was asleep, Kitsune-chan's door was locked -- probably sleeping as well, Motoko-chan watched the rain upstairs like she was in trance, and Narusegawa was studying. I would dare not study under this condition; I'll fall asleep. Around afternoon everyone gathered for a couple of games like playing cards and rounds of karaoke.

"It's hard to thoroughly enjoy a day these times." that's why today's worth the write.

I always sleep better when it rains. Wouldn't you? It's time to tuck myself in my cozy blanket. I've been missing this, trust me, when you get to university, it feels like you haven't been sleeping for ten months. There's a point in time you're gonna have trouble falling asleep.

When I laid down the bed, I had pure joy. I wasn't feeling like my usual self. I haven't noticed how soft my pillows are. I forgot how indulging my mattress is. My warm blanket showed me its unmerciful prowess just so I couldn't forget about it -- it's the best.

I broke out laughing from a yawn.

bedrest is done

2011-04-02T15:05:00.003+08:00

As the light coming from the sunrise crept in my room, I put my pillow on top of my face. Then the sparked effort made me notice: I wasn't sick anymore. I opened my eyes for a couple of seconds and diagnosed myself while staring at the ceiling. My throat was dry, but the sore throat was gone. I can breathe properly now. The cough is gone. No more mucus. But I was a feeling a bit warm. I opened the fan and ironically tucked myself in my cozy blanket. Yep, the flu's gone. I'm back in shape. But I just wanted to sleep more.

I was inactive for about a week from my flu. I didn't know it was that bad. My gym teachers say that once a year your body will break down. And it's all right. Instead of talking about your body being healthy, they wanted to share the reality.

Around 10am, I got up. I walked downstairs to see who was up because it was really quiet.

"Urashima-senpai! Ohayou gozaimasu." it was Moto-chan. "It's good that you're back on your feet. Want to spar with me?"

"I'll pass. I'm not yet a hundred percent."

"Onii-sama!" Kana-chan? "To celebrate your wellness and to strengthen our bond, I shall spar on your behalf!"

"Come, greenhorn! Your loss awaits!" and they ran off outside.

"I'll see you later, Onii-sama!" what just happened?

I was hungry. I came to check the kitchen and saw Shinobu-chan making waffles. I wasn't able to hold myself and opened the cabinet for a saucer. Shinobu-chan heard me and turned around quickly with her turner.

"Keitaro-senpai!" unfortunately a pancake came flying straight on my face. "GO- GOMEN NASAI! I'LL TAKE IT OFF RIGHT AWAY!"

"I'll take care of it." I said with a muffled voice. "It's good." despite my face being singed a bit, I had a good breakfast. Because I kept thinking 'pancake meet your waffle friend.' "Thanks for the breakfast, Shinobu-chan."

"Keitaro-senpai, it's good to see you well again. I've missed yo--"

"Woah! Looky looky! It's Keitaro!" Kaolla-kun came running in.

"Damn. You were sick for quite a while. No obligation. No care. I'm jealous." said Kitsune-san.

"Kei- Keitaro?"

"Oh, Narusegawa? Ohayou!"

"Oh right! I have to get the laundry! I'll see you later!"

"Na- Narusegawa?"

I knew it. Damn. I missed her birthday. I missed the fun time. I wasn't able to fulfill my promise. I wanted to take her out for dinner. I guess she's a bit upset?

"Don't mind it, Keitaro! Trust me." grinned Kitsune-san.

wishing for a warm day

2011-03-24T19:16:00.002+08:00

I'm catching a cold.

"ACHOO!" gaaaah. Tomorrow's Naru's birthday and I'm catching a cold. How unpleasant. How unlucky. Is fate toying with me?

Narusegawa said that one night out is fine. And I'm not sure if I can something that simple because my cold is getting worse. Anyway, it's like how we partied last Christmas, one dinner out and then we party some more after going home. That means I have to stay up late tomorrow.

Sigh. I guess I won't be having any rest soon. And I plan to make tomorrow special too. She looked really sad lately. I just want to cheer her up especially on her birthday.

"AACHOO!"

That's it. Oyasumi.

then that's it!

2011-02-23T22:44:00.006+08:00

No reason. I went for a jog this morning. The air was a bit chilly but it was all right. I thought that it's a good idea to go for a jog every now and then. In the middle of the run, I stopped by the convenience store for a light snack.

"Senpai?" it was Motoko-chan.

"Jogging too?"

"Hai. I'm taking a break. I've been jogging since 6am." she said. I started about 8 in the morning. And it was about quarter to nine in the store. "Golden week is next week.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." I definitely heard her say Golden week is next week. And yes, it's next week.

...

GOLDEN WEEK!

I never realized it's next week already. Time does fly. What am I going to give to everyone? I've been pondering inside the convenient store for a couple of minutes. One bite after another from the protein bar, I still have no clue. It should be special. I feel like I owe them quite a lot for their help in the apartment.

"Senpai. Senpai? Neh, Keitaro-senpai."

"W- what is it, Moto-chan?"

"I'm going back jogging."

"Wait. Give me just a minu-- okayletsgo." she didn't want to wait.

What should I give them? Chocolates? Bfft. Moto-chan and I walked first for a couple of minutes because it would hurt my side if we'd run already. Since she did mention next week's golden week, isn't it obvious that she's giving a hint that I get her something? I wanted to ask her if she would like something in particular. But I thought that would be embarrassing. Maybe a muffler would suffice.

"Yeah. Maybe a muffler would do..."

"Huh?" O crap. I just blurted out what I was thinking. "Senpai, are you thinking of--"

"Moto-chan, I really don't know what to get you this golden week." I said. We stopped for a bit.

"You were thinking of what to get me?" she smiled. "I didn't expect that coming. I just wanted to remind you because of Naru-san." she said.

"EHH?"

"Yeah. A muffler is nice."

perhaps

2011-02-05T02:26:00.000+08:00

It's Saturday again and I don't want to go to work. I don't need the money yet. I just want to chill this Saturday. This just goes to show you that I need a vacation so bad. I stared at the monitor for a couple of hours doing nothing but haplessly browsing the internet not knowing what to do. Back and forth, I viewed the same websites. I didn't want to go to sleep yet. I didn't want stop this feeling. I don't want to go. Perhaps I was hoping that something good would happen while surfing the internet.

2 days working on it, but still incomplete

2011-01-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

I'm stuck in my math proofs. Somehow, I feel like I'm missing something in my notes. I can't ask Naru or anyone else in here because they have no idea what I'll talk about. So I guess I'm gonna have to settle for an incomplete assignment. It's gonna hurt tomorrow but it's better than having no assignment at all.

Sigh. It's always unpleasant to realize that there's something missing in your assignment. Especially when you know that there's something you're sure that you don't know about. If you're really sure you don't know about something, then you ask, right? In this case, I don't even know where to start asking.

Sigh again. And I'm so sure I can get a hundred percent for this particular assignment. I just have to solve numbers 2 and 6. I don't want to leave them blank. And it's just the start of the year. I can't start the year with an incomplete work! It's a bad start to start the year! I guess it's safe to say, discrete math is a higher math, even though it has 'discrete' on it.

and it's over

2010-12-27T08:13:00.001+08:00

I believe this is what they call 'Christmas Crash'. You know, like caffeine crash. Christmas crash occurs when a person feels the after-effects of Christmas or the days after the holidays which they'd feel depressed, moody, lazy, and lethargic from all the exhaustion. That also means that the fun will stop and everything will go back to normal. Sigh.

It was a very happy Christmas indeed. We had a blast. Everything went according to plan. Everyone wanted to do some shopping before the Christmas eve and I was able to pick out something for Naru. She was surprised when I gave her this necklace when I took her out to dinner. I got it on a sale. I ordered for her because she said I knew the place, so I knew what was good. I was put on the spot to order for her. And I'm so happy I ordered the right food. That would've been an extreme turn-off, not to mention a huge waste of money and effort.

Afterwards, there was a Christmas party in the apartment. I couldn't sleep. I forgot that we were going to have an exchange gift. And I was supposed to give Kitsune something. She laughed at me instead. She said that she made a wager to Motoko-san that I'd forget, and now Motoko-san's aiming for my head again. What a weird exchange gift.

Eggnogs are the best. Everyone tired themselves from all the party games and Kitsune's passed out on the floor from the liquor. Practically, I'm the only one still awake. Come to think of it, I haven't slept -- I'm on my second day. Everyone had their presents already, I'm still waiting for mine.

Wait... I better check my student email. They might have posted our grades already.

... ahaha. Christmas is finished. I didn't get any present. And I'm worried about my grades just when I should be enjoying my break. I must be sad.

semi-circled

2010-12-02T21:50:00.001+08:00

The last day of the term is over. So the term is over? The term is over! BANZAI! No wait-- not yet... next week is the 'finals week'. Studying for my finals is going to be very difficult because Christmas is around the corner. And when Christmas is around, people tend to lay back easy. Take for example this past morning, there's hardly anyone in class.

Yes, there's the finals week to take care of but this is what I really want to concentrate on: What shall I do this Christmas Eve? I'm thinking of going out with Naru for dinner. It's been so long since I spent time with her. And I'm pulling my hair right now thinking I should've spent more time with Naru.

Iya iya iya, no time brooding over the past, it's time to look forward. Taking Naru to dinner could work. And then we could wrap things up with a Christmas party in the apartments. Now, I just have to figure out where I'll be taking Naru. I don't want her to give me that bored look. Even though she doesn't mean anything by that, it hurts real bad.

faint

2010-10-05T02:16:00.001+08:00

I am so tired. I just came back from my part-time job at the campus. It was 10pm but before I could finish my 1000 word critique that's due tomorrow, I had to tutor Suu and Shinobu-chan for their technical report. We finished each report around 11:30pm and I was thoroughly exhausted but I had to finish the critique. So I went onto Kitsune's computer and borrowed it for two more hours. It's sorta complete but it lacks something so I'll just wake up early and finish it in the morning. Then we also have our midterms tomorrow... I mean today... later. Oh, man... So I crammed hardcore until my I get a nosebleed... what time is it? I think I'm gonna faint any minute no--

spell brutal

2010-09-24T18:36:00.001+08:00

I'm writing two summaries for two articles. Each summary must be 250 words or less but I don't know where to start. It's Friday and this is due on Monday. Brutal. Each article is like 3000+ words! How can I fit all of that into 250 words? This work is brutal. And this is supposed to be an introductory course?! Plus... these two are my first homework! Well, there's always the choice of skipping the two summaries. But that'll mean I'm going to miss out 10% of my grade. 250 words. I can't seem to start typing. Maybe I'm gonna need extra help on this.

ice cream for I scream!

2010-07-21T18:07:00.002+08:00

"kore wa atsui natsu, MINA!" Shinobu-chan got startled. I was just seeping my coffee when I just realized it was a hot summer to drink a very hot coffee. I ran outside to see how hot it was, I could see that the ground was baking. "AAAH! SUMMER'S TOO HOT!" It was only 10am.

"Keitaro-senpai, how about I make home made ice cream?"

"Su- sugoi, Shinobu-chan? Do you need me to buy ingredients? Ah! But I don't know what to get. Wanna go?"

"Ha?! Ah... eto..."

"Hayaku na. Let's go before it gets too hot outside."

"Jaa. Is it okay to give me 5 minutes just to prepare, Keitaro-senpai?"

"Okay."

Shinobu-chan was all flustered and stuff. She raced herself upstairs and I was wondering why. I don't know if I could stand this heat. I thought the whole inn has been air-conditioned. Ah demo, air conditioning would probably double the expenses.

"Omatase shimashita."

"No problem. Ikko."

We passed by the ice cream shop, but I didn't dare say anything because I wanted to try out Shinobu-chan's ice cream. Just what I thought, there were heaps of people walking with their DSLRs. Makes me fiery jealous. So jealous I could've fainted from a heat stroke. Shinobu-chan was very quiet, but seemed to enjoy the little trip. Her innocent smile saved me from the heat.

"Er... Shinobu-chan, it's hot isn't it?" I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one feeling the heat.

"Hai." that's a relief. Er... after she said yes, she smiled.

Somehow, her smile made me happy. We took our time inside the grocery because it was very cold. Actually, I didn't mind leaving at all. I grabbed some extra stuff too like juice, soda, mints, and juice flavored mint sodas. We wasted no time going back. It was hot and I want ice cream now!

"Let's run for it, Shinobu!" I pulled her arms and we ran for it. Like we were running in the rain to find shelter.

"O- okay!" and she laughed.

When we arrived, Naru asked why we were catching our breathe. I said that I hurried because it was hot outside and Shinobu-chan is going to make us ice cream. And I was right. The ice cream was sooogoi sooogoi good. Now I know that I have to drop by the grocery to buy fruits and ingredients before I go home. It'll be a worthwhile summer. Too bad so sad for Kitsune.

a camera? honestly...

2010-07-18T22:33:00.000+08:00

It's summer. I see a lot of people carrying SLRs or DSLRs in the street. Why is almost everyone carrying a DSLR? It's like there was a place that's giving them for free. And it's almost like there's too much influx of tourists this summer. It's way too hot in here.

Come to think of it, Kitsune sent us an email on her trip. She took a picture of herself with a camera hung around her neck. I think it's also a DSLR. So unless she asked someone to take a picture of her, she's carrying so many cameras. I can't even think how she could afford going on a trip; and now can buy these expensive cameras?

Crap, now I'm thinking of buying a DSLR too.

tadaima!

2010-04-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

I'm back. We're back from Seta-san's overseas field digging. I passed by the house before going straight to Hinata Sou. Mom and Dad are still well... Mom and Dad. I filled my stomach before heading to Hinata Sou. I told mom and dad I'd be back.

"Kana-chan has been calling here too. She's looking for you." mom said. "Wait, don't forget to visit us during weekends!"

"Don't worry, I will. Oh, Dad, how do I apply for a driver's license?"

Mom and Dad looked shocked as I left home. I walked straight to the Hinata Sou. Yes. Walked. Seta-san left with the van in a hurry for Toudai. He said he can't wait to report back what had happened.

"Keitaro-senpai! Welcome back! I didn't know you'd be back today!" Shinobu-chan was the first person who greeted me.

"Yo, everyone's out at this time, even Narusegawa." then it was Kentaro. Felt kinda weird.

"Where's Haruka-nee?"

"I don't really know. She's probably getting old somewhere." laughed Kentaro. "Brr... I felt a chill. I probably shouldn't have said that."

"Keitaro-senpai, must be hungry. Let's eat!"

"Uhm... I'm actually fu--"

"Uuuggh..." Shinobu looked like she was going to cry--

"I'm actually fueled up to eat! Tabemashou!"

After stuffing myself ONCE MORE, I went upstairs to my room. I still have jet lag. I slept quite a while. I still have jet lag. I came back to Japan in the morning and when I woke up, it's night. I couldn't believe I was hungry once again. I walked to the kitchen to check something in the fridge.

"Yaawwn."

"Ke- KEITARO?!" Narusegawa?

"What? Where? Who? KEITARO'S HERE?!" Motoko?

"KEI-CHAN!" Kaolla.

"Keitaro-niichan!"

"Kanako--oof!" Kanako grabbed me from behind.

"Eh?! Keitaro." and enter Haruka-nee. "Where's my souvenir?"

"Didn't everyone know I arrived?!"

"I... I forgot to tell them." said Shinobu.

"Where's Kitsune?"

"She's traveling overseas." said Narusegawa.

"Oh."

first agenda: sleep.

2010-04-21T18:35:00.002+08:00

I'm excited to say that work is almost finished here. Seta-san said to start packing tomorrow. We're going back to Nippon next week. We're really exhausted. I'm really exhausted. I'm going to sleep. Yeah. So I'm going to sleep now. Like right now. Oyasu--

come to think of it...

2010-03-16T21:11:00.001+08:00

"Keitaro, don't you drive already?" all this time, why haven't I asked this question?

I've been learning how to drive with Seta-san. Even though I think that he's an unlikely teacher of driving, I had no one else to ask. I'm still overseas. And it's a good thing that I could learn secretly. When I get back home, I'll properly learn how to drive and get my license and stuff. But for now, Seta-san's driving lessons will do.

There's nothing special that I'm learning. One night, I was making donuts in a huge open parking lot. I was driving into a STRAIGHT open road just to get the hang of my speed. Seta-san taught me the thought of the blindspot and learning how to shoulder check. In the end, I haven't tried driving in a busy street. But I mean whoa, let's not get crazy here -- I don't have a learner's license yet.

Still, these simple steps will get me going to the basics. It's like that joke when I tried out being a boyscout in elementary: I was a tenderfoot aspirant. Besides, I'll get in serious trouble if an officer pulls me over and I have no paper to pull from my pocket. And another thing, Seta-san will get into trouble as well. That's why I have to learn in secret. But yeah, driving. It shouldn't be something new.

"Oh man, I can't wait to drive. Ahh... the luxury."

"K-KEITARO! WATCH THE ROAD!"

"CRAP!" I was fantasizing one night and we swerved and almost fell into a ditch. "Whew. That was close, Seta-san."

"Indeed. Demo... how can you mess up driving into a straight open road?" I spaced out thinking of driving in my own car with my love. "Iyaa, I think I know the reason." laughed Seta-san. "I know it's boring to drive straight and so you wanted it to be a little wild so you swerved in purpose? That's dangerous."

"Nani?"

let's try once more

2010-02-25T14:37:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful day. But it's too bad to spend it digging sites or what not. I'm on my break right now wondering what the guys are doing back in Nippon. I haven't received any letter from them yet. I guess it's still cold back home right now. But it's warm here. Seta-san wouldn't let me take my day off today as we've reached an incredible find and we're at the peak of it. He insisted that a little more digging will unravel more find but we've been digging for a couple of days. Today's not an exception. He firmly believes that the dig today will unravel whatever's beneath the site. I hope so. I want to go home. I gotta go.

to my beloved

2010-01-22T15:47:00.001+08:00

to my beloved:

If I were asked to what is the one thing that I want in life, I'd give them an answer right away.

I don't want anything fancy. I don't want the widest screen TV. I don't want the most expensive car. I don't want the biggest house. I don't want any crowd following me. I don't want the smartest cellphone. I don't want fortune or glory. Because what I want is simple really. I just want to be with you.

----

I decided to write this simple letter. But I have a feeling that it would make a scene.

I'm away

2010-01-03T21:34:00.002+08:00

La lalala. Thanks to you, I could only sleep in my dreams. Thinking of you made me forget how to live. I'm slowly dying. I'm spinning round and round and round and round here and there and I'm getting confused. I'm dizzy in my prayers. Please embrace me tight. I'm getting wasted in my prayers. Kiss me so that I could feel you. Dreaming of you becomes a nightmare. You keep me thinking of you and that I can't wait for you anymore. I'm really spinning now and I don't know what I'm doing. Please hold my hands. Hug me tight. I'm getting wasted with my prayers. Kiss me. I need to feel you. The woes of living overseas.

surprise surprise?

2009-11-13T20:39:00.000+08:00

I've eaten dinner four times tonight. It's because of this shivering weather. My body heat is using too much energy and now I get hungry often. The season is changing after all. Shinobu-chan noticed me eat once, then after an hour, I took out the leftovers from the fridge for my second dinner. After a couple of hours, I came back and cooked a bit for the third charm. And when Shinobu-chan was washing the dishes, she found me looking in the fridge.

"Senpai, I can cook something for you if you want."

"Oh no, that's too much, Shinobu-chan. I'm embarrassed."

"Sou na. I insist." has she been this nice? I may have overlooked Shinobu's kindness throughout these years.

I told her how funny I am. I was constantly hungry tonight, but I wasn't this hungry during the day.

"I'm sure going to miss your cooking, Shinobu-chan."

"H- huh?"

"See, I'm going on a trip this late November with Seta-san. It's an overseas business trip for 4 months. He wanted me to assist him on his trip and I'm not exactly sure where we're going. Anyway, I'm sure I'm going to miss this kind of meal." after swallowing the last piece of meat, I looked at her. "Shinobu-chan? Is there something wrong?"

"S- senpai, you'll be away for four months?"

"Oh, I haven't told everyone yet. I'm sorry for surprising you, but I'll definitely be back."

Come to think of it, she's the first person that I've told about my trip.

I'm going on another trip

2009-11-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

I was just half joking about leaving Nippon again. But Seta-san did mention that he'll be taking me as his assistant for his overseas trip. It's a series of trip this time. And there's the looming plan that we'll also have a trip to a country experiencing a civil war. Waaah kowaii. I hope not.

I haven't told anyone yet. I think they won't have any problems since Kanako will come back next week from vocational her studies. But I'm worried. I'm worried of myself and I'm worried that something might stir up again when she comes.

Seta-san said we're going to stay overseas not 3 but for 4 months. That's a third of a year. If you ask me, that's pretty long. And I wonder how he intends to pay me. I'm thinking that I might ask Grandma Hina to revamp my room with my cash. My part-time tutorial job isn't doing well.

Anyway, Seta-san said that we'll be leaving this late November.

the plan to fly

2009-11-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

Yada, I don't want to go to sleep yet. I feel like I'm missing something. I should be writing to the days I've missed writing. I don't want to sleep yet because I find it hard to be in the mood to write. And now that I'm sort of in the mood to write, I couldn't find anything interesting to write. But I'm itching to write something. What should I write?

This is stupid. I'm running in circles and I'm wasting time. It can't be helped when things are peaceful in the apartments. There's no problem at Toudai. There's no problem with the budget. Things are perfect. Wait... it can't be perfect.

I have a bad feeling about this. When things are going smooth, there's this uncanny possibility that it'll end up sour. Or maybe it's just my gut feeling.

Oh, I know. There's this plan from Seta-san that we might go abroad once more. See Seta-san will be teaching abroad for 3 months and he's asked me to come along to assist him. I'm not really decided yet, but he said that he'll pay me for my assistance. Plus, it'll look good on my resume.

3 months? I've spent 6 months abroad. That should be easy. I think.

who turned the heater off?

2009-10-04T18:33:00.004+08:00

Why is it cold all of a sudden?

I can't help but feel like I missed my summer this year. Since there's no turning back, I also feel that this year would be incomplete. I've never missed summer before. This is proof that I've ignored what's around me. I'm such an idiot to miss summer.

The only thing that makes me worry is how I'll be spending this year's winter. Life would be pretty different from here on, because I'll be spending much time outside than the comforts of my room -- which sucks.

It's nice and cozy and I love my blanket and my bed. I don't want to leave it. I guess I'm the person that would say I hate winter. Whatever.

Aww, I don't want it to be cold yet. I still have a lot of things to do before winter comes. It's not all bad, I mean, there's Christmas. This weather's making me feel weird.

losing a whole year?

2009-08-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

I'm in big trouble! I forgot to submit a part of my thesis today! The professor was very furious and I don't blame him. He was always telling me to submit this and that for a long time and I told him that I have everything covered. Still, I managed to forget about the whole thing. I asked for an extension but he wouldn't let me. That part will delay me indefinitely, unless my prof changes his mind.

This is all Kitsune's fault! If only she didn't show me this online game which was very simple and addicting, I would've been able to properly use my time! I- I couldn't help it! I had to level up and become rich! It's so toxic! What the hell did I just do?! What's going to happen to me now?!

mistaken cycle

2009-08-07T01:37:00.003+08:00

I messed my body clock. I've been writing and writing for my thesis that I slept all day. And now I couldn't sleep tonight. Shinobu-chan caught me eating pancakes, hashbrowns and drinking coffee this midnight. Umm... yeah, I shouldn't have taken coffee. Will I ever sleep tonight. I might. I mean, some people's pet peeves is that they sleep when they drink coffee. It's boring when everyone is sleeping and you're the only person awake.

bombing this paper

2009-07-17T16:07:00.003+08:00

OMG. I completely forgot tomorrow's essay! Here's what I've written so far:

----

What I Learned in this English Class

by Urashima, Keitaro

I've learned that learning is a long process and education is forever wherever I go. And that learning made me realize why I shouldn't idle, instead, move forward so that advancing may take place. It's my time to work on my dreams to make them a reality because there's no more turning back now.

I've learned that life isn't how you want it to be. Sometimes it depresses me to know that I'm no longer a kid who would be carefree of time. There are going to be a lot more responsibilities that would be given to me, a lot more work, and I have no choice but to accept them all. After all, work, responsibilites, problems, they're all a part of growing up in life.

I've learned that we should doubt and be critical. Being as critical individual thinkers further develops a healthy mind and it stimulates reasoning as well.

I've learned to work with others. And that working with others have both pros and cons at school; like having a bossy person for a leader, a lazy bum who won't contribute anything and that snob. You may or may not enjoy working with others, but most employers these days require teamplayers and getting along with the other employees; especially your boss.

I've learned not to be one sided and to be open mided. But there will be times that I should pick a side and be biased; and that's okay. Because in these times, being neutral is impossible.

I've learned more about myself by the homeworks I've handed in, the projects that made me crazy and awake all night, the exams thrown at me, and how I'd skip classes. They're all a part of the puzzle that made me figure out how I handle things my way.

I've learned that there would be some of my dreams that won't come true because of realizing my capacity. Still, with the help of doubt, I have my doubts to give up on these dreams.

----

... so what do you think? Haha. We were given two weeks to complete this work, because the prof wanted to make sure that the literature should be flawless. I bet everyone else took their two weeks to make theirs polished and ready. I finished mine in ten minutes.

I'm toast.

I think I'll be here a while.

2008-07-21T21:08:00.001+08:00

I spent the past few days at home. It was like a plan of starving myself from people. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I came back here after going to class, I didn't see Naru or anyone I know in campus. Funny, huh? It's like everything is so scripted, I want to blame whoever is in charge of me -- myself. What did I do?

The past two days were really quiet. I was able to sleep in boredom and it felt a bit good. I missed everyone, but the sorrow was manageable. It's good to spend time with yourself sometimes. It was pretty well to be bored in my old room, in front of my old TV, on top of my old couch, eating my old mum's dinner.

I wonder what everyone is doing right now.

my after taste after yesterday

2008-07-19T22:23:00.001+08:00

I've been waiting for her for four hours. I just stood there. I sat. I watched the sun go by. I watched the clouds run away from my head. The cars went on. The world left without me for four hours. It's what I've been thinking would happen. And it did. Naru didn't show up. I asked her yesterday that we'd go out. She never said yes, but she never said no. And I'm sure she heard me. I was talking in front of her, face to face. It seemed like she ignored me, but I held my hopes high. And there I was, waiting for her beside the river.I called her phone over and over. And even when she didn't pick up, I knew her answer.

"Keitaro-san?"

"Oh hi, Mutsumi-chan."

"Is something wrong? You look somewhat bothered." she asked. Obviously there was something wrong. It was written all over me. But I lied. What good would happen if I say that there was?

"It's nothing."

"Well, in that case, Kei-san, can you help me go to the mall? A friend of mine is having her birthday and I have no idea what to get her." she wanted me to tag along, huh?

"Do you know what she likes?"

"Like I said, I don't know what she likes. Ahaha." I stood up and my head went light. I guess I just killed half of my brain cells wallowing in despair. "Ah! Kei-san, do you have a fever or something?"

"No, it's okay. We should hurry. Or your friend's birthday might be over."

"But it's just early in the afternoon-- wah!" I pulled her to get going. I didn't want pity. I just want to clear my head.

I asked Mutsumi-san, at the very least, about the color that her friend likes. It feels like she's using me for something, isn't it? Anyway, I tried picking up random stuff for her. It's funny that she's accepting everything I pick for her.

"Where does your friend live?"

"Near Toudai." she said. "Umm... she moved out from my home island. And now that she's living here, there's a lot of things that she needs."

"I see."

When it was all over, I was having second thoughts of going back to the Hinata apartment. It felt like I wanted to go home for the night -- with mom and dad. I don't know.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home."

ready and set

2008-07-18T20:11:00.000+08:00

"Let's go on a date tomorrow, Naru." I asked her. It was out of the blue and she was quiet. "Naru? Is something wrong?" She just stood there and she walked away. "I'm going to wait for you in front of the station at 10 AM okay?"

Naru and I rarely talked. I don't know, did our relationship just burn out?

As we climb up the ladders in Toudai, the subjects are getting harder and harder. Our studying has to follow through as well. It's becoming obvious that we're spending less time with our friends. I've become so simple, it's idiotic. The monotony is dumbing me down. I find it hard to answer simple questions, and this needs to stop.

We need to unwind.

I thought that I'd be able to unwind if I spend time with Naru outside the campus, and outside Hinata inn. It's kind of bad to leave the guys from this, isn't it? But hey, next time, we'll bring them somewhere else. It's just that, I think this is an emergency, that's all. And I need to make it up to Naru. We haven't been together for a while-- not a decent and deep conversation. It would make the hyper yawn.

The date is set. Tomorrow, we'll fix this.

the burnout

2008-05-05T19:16:00.000+08:00

I'm burning out! The time of reckoning has come. It was too good to be true for me acing my subjects and I knew it was too good to be true. What the hell am I going to do?

I didn't know Literature can be so hard. This major shouldn't bite at all, because it's just language. Although, an elective subject that I find heavy on my average, *elective that is heavy, pfft* is giving me a hard time: Math.

Numbers. Curse my numerical weakness!

It's not just that, my major subjects are also rising to the challenge of giving me a hard time. I smell a conspiracy... again. I used to have an easy come, easy decently high average. But now my results are falling and my work is piling. I'm getting tired of the monotony. Who wouldn't?

Burnout. Such a useful word. It can be used anywhere, school, work, life, love.

I feel like the distance from me and Naru is growing.

the street lights are changing p.2

2008-03-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

When I entered the apartment, it was so lively. I covered my mouth after my last yawn and I remembered my futon. The futon was nailed on my head.

"Keitaro! Wanna play cards with us?!" shouted Kitsune. She was pretty loud but I waved back at them and passed. "You tired? Oh okay, maybe next time then."

"I'm just going to study behind my eyelids. I'll be back."

"Shinobu-chan? He's not bluffing, right? I won't let him get away from this card match." persisted Kitsune.

"Iie. Keitaro-san is really tired." Shinobu-chan backed me up.

"Sou ka! Jaa, I'll take on you Motoko! Let me see your card techniques!"

"Keitaro-san! Will you join us for dinner?" I looked at Shinobu-chan and smiled.

"I won't miss it for the world."

When I opened my door, I found Kanako lying on my futon. I looked up. I wanted to wake her up, but no. She had part- time work today.

-- BUT WHY IS SHE LYING ON MY FUTON!?!

"I chose the table and I start writing. Until now--....

"Keitaro-oniisama. Oniisama."

"d-drool... What?!" I wiped my mouth immediately. "Gomen gomen. It was something unpleasant."

"Iie. You had a very kind face when you were sleeping." -huh- not that Kanako-chan. "Dinner's ready. Or should I get it for you?"

"No need, it's better eating with the whole bunch."

"Demo demo... wouldn't it better if we eat together in your room?"

"Hugk... NO! LET'S GO KANA-CHAN! I'M STARVING! LET'S EAT!" I ran out of my room and to the kitchen. Everybody was about to say Ittedakimasu. "Kombanwa. Yawwn... Bulgogi?"

"You sure took your time, Keitaro." said Naru. "But you were just in time. We got tired of waiting."

"Sorry about that. Let's dig in, everyone."

"Keitaro... do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Nani?" I asked with the fork in my mouth. Dangerous.

"Admin day. No classes tomorrow."

"BFFT! WHAT?!" -sweet- although, I accidentally threw a piece of meat onto Naru's face, that a bitter experience followed next.

the street lights are changing p.1

2008-03-12T21:09:00.001+08:00

"Huwa..." I'm super tired today.

There was a ton of work in Toudai. It's so good to think back that I was able to finish them all. In the end, I have spaghetti like hands. We rushed on our group project, I finished my class report, gym was hell, two exams are done for and I was walking in the street late. My eyes were closing down on me.

It was a pleasant surprise when I saw Shinobu-chan walking on the street. But the night was suspicious and it was dangerous for her. So I walked towards her and asked.

"Shinobu!" funny. A short sprint made me catch my breathe.

"Keitaro-san? Kombanwa."

"What's up? It's dangerous walking alone during the night."

"I was just going to buy some last touch ingredients at the grocery."

"Huh? Okay, let me go with you."

"Daijobou. Keitaro-san should rest. I can handle it."

"No way. I'm going with you no matter what." she turns away a bit.

"De- demo."

"Saa, hayaku. Let's go."

I almost fainted walking to the grocery. My arms were falling off. My feet were shaking. And I was yawning like crazy. But I tried to limit these signs, because I didn't want to bother Shinobu-chan, nor make her uncomfortable nor concerned with me tagging with her.

We spent a good fifteen minutes in the grocery picking up items. I think she noticed me exhausted, because she was running and grabbing like she was on a role.

"We're done, Keitaro-san."

"Ahh yokatta. That was fast."

"Hai."

"Let's go home then."

When we walked to the counter, the old man on the cashier made a comment. "You're a lucky guy. You have an efficient girlfriend. She doesn't wait for her boyfriend to stay and wait for long. And she's young and cute too."

"Nani?" I didn't know how to respond to that.

"And boy! You must be ashamed of yourself. Letting this poor girl do all the work."

"I- am... sumi masen." I was swept with the wave. "Chotto! You got it all wrong! She's not my--"

"Okay, here's your change. Have a nice day."

"Ha..." when I looked at Shinobu, she was blushing and steaming."

It was awkwardly quiet on our way back. I couldn't say anything too. I didn't mind what the old man said. Old men say a lot. But I was exhausted and I needed sleep fast. My senses were dulling and the bags were surprisingly heavy. Anyway, I kept a quick watch over Shinobu why she was quiet.

"Shinobu-chan!"

"WaH!"

"Go- gomen. What are you making for dinner?"

"Kaolla-san asked for Bulgogi."

"Bulgogi?" sounded familiar to me.

"Hai..." I was so tired but we finally made it to the inn after those thousand steps.

[tbc...]

the matter at hand

2008-03-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

"Ano, Naru-san, have you seen Kanako-chan?"

"Hmph, she's parring with Motoko-san."

I don't know. After seeing her practice with Motoko-san, oh man, I've become scared of my little sister. She's very aggressive and I think both of them are on par with each other. But there's something about Kanako-chan that I don't want to disturb, fearing that I might wake up and stir 'an inner beast' sleeping within her mind.

I need some catching up to do. Kanako has already grown and I feel like we've became distant. There's something that I forgot about her [gomen, Kana-chan] and yeah, I'm looking for a decent conversation with her. Straight forward conversation bonding without any kind of intimacy. Hey!

No one wanted to back down from the practice. I figured it would take a while, so I went to the roof for some fresh sky.

She went to the roof after her practice. She was still holding that wooden sword, I got a little bit nervous. I wanted to talk about her life abroad and the things that she's missing.

"Oniichan?"

"Oh, wait..."

I'll continue this some other time.

can she?

2008-03-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

Mom and Dad talked about this for a long time. Not to mention, it's also old news. I don't know what Obaasama thinks about it. Kanako's staying here for good?

Last year she spent a month or two in the apartment. I had no problems with it. But that's just me. After her stay, she went back to Grandma's side abroad. But to everyone's surprise it was only a short time 'til she came back. Thinking that she's living abroad, months of absence is a short time for one to go back here. It's proof enough. It's obvious she wants to stay here. Why?

I can't think of any reason why she'd stay here. Sorry, I'm stupid.

I'm about to make negotiations [i feel like i'm holding her ransom] with Mom and Dad if she could really stay. I'm concerned about her studies abroad. She's very skilled, probably more skilled than me [i'm a disgrace]. And I don't want any of her hard work there wasted. Is that why Mom and Dad don't want her to stay here?

scratch my forehead

2007-05-13T01:04:00.000+08:00

They say that:
Love is easy to feel.
Love is hard to explain.
Love is easy to get.
Love is hard to let go.
Love is easy to spell.
Love is hard to define.

Yet everyone is still taking the risks. But no one has an idea if the risk is worth it. Unless after they get hurt or after their happy endings. I keep asking myself that. I don't care if people think that it's a negative way of thinking that if treading on is worth it.

Realistically speaking, we do get hurt. Idealistically speaking, we shouldn't live with regrets. I'm really divided when I talk about love. Think of it as an online role-playing game that never ends and there's always battles around the corner and expect server updates in the future. With all the constant changelogs, don't forget that it's the same game. Wow, what the hell happened? Where did the MMORPG come from? I blame Shirai and Kimiaki for this.

now what?

2007-03-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I spent more days than the usual with my supplementary tutorial class. I've caused so much worry to my parents that I took the liberty of taking these classes from the first place. To be honest, I, too, was disappointed with my last semester performance. Now that April is just around the corner, sigh, I feel exhausted already. Demo! I shouldn't fret! I have to feel confident! Six weeks of summer-like classes should pay off! Onwards to April!

grab a sandwich and run

2007-03-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

The gym is hell. Why can't basketball become any easier? Wow, I just played basketball by the way. I sucked. I threw garbage all over the floor. I made a mess on my first game. I'll sure be a target of bullies. Everyone will hog the ball away from me. I won't expect any passes for a long time. I'll be sitting on the bench forever. I'll be cut. The saying first impressions last is real.

"Enough about basketball."

I thought I saw Kanako sitting on a bench at Toudai. Hmm... it couldn't be. She's at US right now. When Motoko-san told me that Kanako was waiting for me at the lobby, and after the hell of a fight at the gym, plus I reeked, I ignored her and went straight to bath. Then my bed. Soueba, I still haven't eaten supper yet. Maybe I should take a visit to the kitchen.

"Kanako... here? Again?"

After making a sandwich and making it up here, I never saw her at the kitchen. Hmm, where is she? Shimata, it's already this late? Sou ka. Maybe I should go to sleep as well.

march random

2007-03-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

Wee! I bought a new cellphone. I thought having a new cellphone is magical. I guess not. I told everyone about it and I waited for so long at my room for my cell to ring. No one seems to care. Anyway, no big deal... anymore.

I tried out Shinobu's new cake. She's really amazing. A genius. Her cake is a slice of heaven. I want to try it out again. Sometime in the near future. I mean really near. But I don't want to get used to its flavor. I might spill everything.

Shimata! I forgot to solve my problem sets! Be right back... maybe tomorrow. Awww, and here I was thinking of going to bed already.

is this the right turn?

2007-02-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is Valentines day! What to do?! What to do?! This is like the one day where it's okay to tell mushy words without excuse! It's the one day that gives me goosebumps of the things that might happen!

Dame! I'm really nervous. Settle down. It's just the 14th of February. I'm sure Naru has planned something. Wha- what?! Did I just relied on Naru to come up with a plan? What a gentleman. But... it might not be a bad idea.

I'm sure she'll just get bored of whatever I have in my sleeves. Haha, loser talk.

Maa, there's always the park. I just hope it won't get crowded (and I mean crowded) tomorrow. Ahaha, funny imagining it. Speaking of Valentines... is it time for me to be thinking of March 1? Not.

"Keitaro!"

"WAAAAAH! Na- Naru?! Ah *erm* chotto. Nani?"

"Uhh, yeah. Dinner's ready. Tabemashou."

"Ah, arigatou na!"

what the...?!

2007-01-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

I am so angry today that I had to slam my door seven times just to try and forget what happened after my exam. I AM JUST ONE POINT SHORT! YES! ONE POINT SHORT FROM A HUNDRED ITEM EXAM! ONE POINT SO I COULD PASS! DAMN IT! Mou, ii yo! I'm going to sleep.

what happened?

2006-12-26T08:01:00.000+08:00

"You're- you're going already? Isn't it busy at the airport after Christmas?"

"Hai. Thank you for your hospitality, Oniichan."

"Nande?" This is all too sudden. Why is she leaving on such a short notice?

"Well, I still have school."

"Sou ka? I guess it can't be helped."

It's such a shame for her to leave right away. I feel like I did something wrong. Her sudden news made me sad. Even if she didn't say nothing uncomfortable, there's a sensation within me that I'm responsible for not making her stay worthwhile. But it's like what she said. She needs to go back because of school. Apparently, I don't know how my little sister feel anymore. Am I no longer familiar with her?

is there something that can make this better?

2006-12-09T07:10:00.000+08:00

Ah, sou ka! It's a saturday and I'm free! Free from academic worries and peer pressure and pimples and messy floors and rush for late submissions! I have to enjoy the day -- it's a MUST -- for this moment might not come again... So what do I do to have fun today?

Yawn. It's really boring to ask the same question over and over and ugh, I might as well just sleep the whole day. Demo, it would be a waste -- even the optimists who tell the world that we shouldn't have regrets in our past would agree not to sleep at such a beautiful day.

Instead, they'd say, "Live life to the fullest." Eto...

Maybe I should take walk in the park, then sit on a bench, enjoy the lake view afterwards and, finally... what's the finally?

Maybe I should ask Naru to go on a date? Then eat an expensive restaurant, and browse in the mall afterwards and buy stuff and have a catchup conversation for the finale? However -- and it's a bumming however -- She might be busy.

How 'bout a party in the inn? Right. I could invite everyone. Problem is, I might be the only one here who is free. Tsk. What a stingy situation. In the end, apparently, I think I have no choice but to treat myself. I can do all of what I asked... but I may do it alone.

There's no harm asking the guys first, isn't it?

staring at the ceiling

2006-12-08T21:08:00.000+08:00

Wah, I can't believe it. I am actually free of school work woes! What about school? No worries! Homeworks? Check. Extra-curricular activities? Check. Essays and term papers? Check and check. Recitation and class participation? Check, check. Dewa, how are the recent exams, Keitaro-kun? Hmm... There haven't been any flunks lately. So I say it's a check. Ureshii!

Now that I'm free. What do I do?

pimple day

2006-11-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

I have a pimple. A big one. The pimple's calling me to pop it from growing. I don't want to make it leave a mark. I think pimples have four days of lifespan. Figures, this pimple came from my late nights because due to my research proposal work. Soueba, I look like a panda because of the dark potches around my eyes -- especially my eye-bags. Tsk, can it be helped? I think I should start to work in advance to put some of which for tomorrow. How can I do that since I have a hectic schedule; not to mention being the manager of the inn. I'm going to pop, all because of this stupid pimple. Hmph. Ignore it.

novmber one woes

2006-11-01T14:38:00.000+08:00

November 1 in the Hinata inn is kowaii. I'll leave this day to Motoko-chan. She's the expert when we're talking about the supernaturals. She, in fact, can be considered as a supernatural. Having to confront creatures that are not of this world, she strives on as my hero... however, this hero is afraid of turtles. Supernatural indeed.

nani? what happened?

2006-10-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

What the hell happened?! When I got back from accompanying Kana-chan at the airport, Naru hurriedly told me that everybody's sick. There's an epidemic in the Hinata inn. Fortunately, not all of its residents are affected. As of now, I, Kitsune and Narusegawa are the remaining residents who are not affected by malady. I'm guessing it's just a cold epidemic. I'm taking multivitamins, so I guess I'm extra sturdy -- but Motoko-san's sick as well. That doesn't make any sense. I mean she's a warrior for all I know. She practices, exercises and eats a balanced diet. Odd.

Motoko-san, Kaolla-chan, Shinobu-chan, Kentaro, Haruka-san and Kana-chan caught it. I wonder if Narusegawa's also taking multivitamins. I'm betting it's stress. Stress can do a lot of weird things to you. From a person's mood and attitude to one's physical appearance. Anyway, I'm not taking any chances, I'm going to bed. I'll check if everything's a-okay tomorrow.

deep sigh

2006-10-28T16:15:00.000+08:00

Kanako-chan will go back abroad tomorrow. She'll be with Grandma Hina. Her new semester is about to start. She stayed at the Inn for three months. I still remember what she said and how she admitted the truth. It is lonely when I think about her living away from Japan. At least she's with Grandma Hina. I bet she also has friends in her college. Be that as it may, being at home is different. I suppose the US isn't her home yet. Ever since Kana-chan and I had an unexpected reunion, maybe that changed her. What a mess. She won't be the same living in abroad again. A brother and a sister -- in love? Agh, this isn't right!

"One thing's for sure. I will miss her."

what door should I pick?

2006-10-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

What should I do? I really feel like Kanako-chan doesn't want to go back overseas. She said that she'll leave Japan on the 29th of October. What the hell should I do? Should I make her stay? Should I make up her mind? Nag! I better think of something before she leaves or else I won't be able to sleep thinking if I've done the right thing.

on the verge of explosion

2006-06-24T15:14:00.000+08:00

I was completely caught by surprise because of what she asked. I didn't know what to do and I panicked like someone was holding a knife on my throat.

"Oniichan, the reason I came here is because I missed you. Ever since that day when our fate reunited, to tell you the truth, I hesitated to go back abroad." She held my hand.

"Ka- Kanako?" I sucked every weird feeling there is at the park.

Mixed emotions. Quiet. How I wished to be beamed out of Earth during that moment. The creases on my brain were leveled and my mind turned blank. Nothing seemed right. I was running out of options but I had to give her a calming answer.

She's my sister and it's clear that she need her oniichan's help -- coming from my point of view. Maybe I should try a simpler approach first.

"Ano, Kanako you could stay longer. If that's what you want."

"Oniichan... That's not what I want." She turned her head away and closed her eyes. Then, she slowly her head to me again, gradually making contact eye to eye. "I want you to come with me to America."

after coming home

2006-06-17T01:41:00.000+08:00

Whew. I'm so exhausted from the commotion. I think Kanako's exhausted too. She had so much luggage. Demo, I can't help worry about her stay. It's not that I don't want her to be here. No, as much as possible, it would be nice to let her stay. I can't point my finger to where the problem is. In the end, it's all good. I'm tired. I think I'll hit the bed.

going away to Okinawa

2006-06-01T15:42:00.000+08:00

It's only right that Mutsumi-san has to go to Okinawa. It has been years since her last visit home. I'm sure everybody's waiting for her at Okinawa. Demo, I can't believe I agreed to go watch her apartment. Well, it's not that of a big deal. Also, I don't think Naru would get mad. Well... she is stubborn, hiding any sign of tension and jealousy. I have to be careful.

"Why would she get jealous?" think of it as an act of service. Yeeess. Act of Service. What a nice catch.

I just want to help Mutsumi-san and I can't get any more honest than what I've said. She's a friend and I think it's only okay. Plus, I think it's only fair to say that Naru should understand.

Crap. I still have finals next week. I envy Mutsumi so much. I wonder how she aced her prerequisites. I mean come on! She's a dean's lister! I asked one of her professors how good she really was inside the classroom.

"You want to know, Keitaro-san? She's exempted in her final exams." Su- sugoi. "However, everbody's talking about you, Keitaro. Your grades are flunking! The final exams and the makeup exams are your only hope if you want to stay with your course!" Ko- kowaii.

Eehhh... how very unkind.

major nosebleed

2006-05-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

Man, I'm in the middle of an academic crossfire. I've got my hands tied right now and I don't know what subject I should put more attention to. I'm really inept during times of prioritization -- though, I'm really good at procrastination. I'm having such a dilemma because finals week is around the corner. Simultaneous or consecutive exams are given during finals week. There's math, social science, history and the drop dead physics.

"I'm in deep mud." I wonder if Mutsumi, Kentaro and Naru are doing well.

I have to be conscious of one subject and create another. In fact, I can't help but think of mathematics when I study social science and so on. Crike, It's like there's a lot of rumble going on inside my already crazy head. Anyway, I'm almost late for another appointment. I need to try out my new hand-held game.

the recent overkill

2006-05-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

How should I put this? "Ah, yes."

I am so exasperated today. Upon entering the classroom, my Math professor gave us a pop quiz. It was so sudden, I haven't taken my seat yet. Anyway, my instinct kicked in yesterday and I was able to study in advance. In fact, I've been able to study ahead of the current lesson. I follow a new study plan, which is also out of the blue, if you ask me.

It was a one question pop quiz -- all or nothing. Upon reading the question on the blackboard, I quickly identified the problem as an application of linear function involving two variables. Thank goodness! My advance reading paid off!

I've spent a well ten minutes in solving the problem. It wasn't easy but rigorous checks from my solutions confirmed a hundred percent correct answer.

"...And enter the sad part."

My professor noticed that the class is taking too long for it to finish. Everyone, except me, was confused of the problem and, apparently, my classmates don't know the answer. So my professor asked:

"Class, have we tackled application of linear functions involving two variables?" The whole class responded with a negative answer. I, on the other hand, kept quiet. All of them were wondering what the professor was talking about.

"Oh, I see. Okay, I'll change the question then."

And my world suddenly turned upside- down. I yelled in my head. "Sir, sir! I've been able to answer the question. Would that count?"

"I'm sorry, Keitaro. It's good that you have been able to come up with a solution. However, the whole class has not yet been oriented with the problem. Let's give them a question that we have indeed tackled and we should be able to give equal chances that way. I'm sure if you can answer linear equations with two variables, you can also answer linear equations with one variable."

I didn't want to argue that time, even though I sensed that his statement was somehow open to arguments -- thanks Philosophy I. Plus, everybody was looking at me that time, seeming like they want to rip me to pieces if I say another word.

My professor erased the board and replaced a new question. I read the new problem. Unfortunately, instead of the wits that should flow to my brain, my frustration gave way and I lost my edge. I found myself clueless over the problem. Inside my head, I was complaining as I realize that I've lost an instant quiz to increase my grade.

We were only given seven minutes for the new do or die question. After thinking it over, I wrote my answer. It's not hundred percent accurate, but it beats having a blank paper.

We were told to exchange papers. The professor wrote down the solution and, piece by piece, number by number, I slowly realized the big mistake that I've done. When the solution was shown, my face turned sour and I could only cover my face from an apparent torture. -- Then the class rejoiced as all of them got the correct answer. As for me, I just wallowed and cried in a corner.

"I could've gotten a perfect score... But Noooo..." the majority should benefit, even if there's only one who will take the fall.

hard-work and trash

2006-05-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

Damn. I'm having trouble with my reflection paper about Medieval Political Thoughts. I feel awkward about the progress of my writeup... because... well, I'm already at the middle of my paper, and it seems like there's not much cohesion to the things that I've written. I've already made it to third page but it appears that the next pages will be miles away from the main topic. I don't like what's happening. This is due on Monday.

"I'm afraid I should start all over." WHAT? Awww!

I keep on telling myself (maybe a thousand times already) to be much organized of what I'm treading. And now, I'm caught in the middle of a conflict whether to do it over or not -- which means if I couldn't convince my professor, I'll just have to confuse him. What a stupid remark. Maybe I should do it over -- beats a paper that shows nonsense.

"Que sera sera."

choose between the two

2006-04-25T20:19:00.000+08:00

"Two long exams?! Aw, come on!" to my surprise, two of my subjects announced that I'll be having a long exam from both of them.

Damn, this is so unpleasant for me to hear. I am already receiving so much work from Toudai AND the Hinata Inn. Furthermore, classes have only started a few weeks ago.

From another point of view, two exams isn't that bad. It's rather considerable. But in my case, it's not FAIR! I'm pretty worked up and the last thing I need is a long exam. Ugh, now I have to study and manage again!

Judging from the two programs, Mathematics and Chemistry, and considering the date of examination, I only have little time to review two exhaustive and mind boggling subjects. I need a plan.

Okay I got it. First, I'll review the subject that is heavier in point average. Then I will review on the lighter subject, I hope, if I still have the time. That way, I won't fail in one of the two.

"Wow, that means I still have to fail one of them. How stupid is that?" Okay, okay. Let's try another.

I need to review both of them. No No! I don't have the time. And class starts early! Great. Now my time's running out because of writing on this diary. Whatever. I'll just stick to plan A and hope I won't fall asleep to review on the second one. I - I'll review Mathematics!

warmed up and ready

2006-04-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

I can almost hear my professor discussing the lesson to me. This year's going to be different. I feel somewhat excited of going back to Toudai. Maybe I got real bored inside the inn. Or maybe I'm already warmed up and itching for some action. Is this how Naru feels?

Well, I didn't spend my whole summer break inside the Hinata Apartment, of course, I also spent some time outside together with my friends. Yeah, I think I've had enough of my summer break. Did that occur to you? You know, getting the feeling that it's time to go back to school. It's funny that it happened to me. Oh well, ladida.

field trip day 1: lunch

2006-03-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

Enoshima Iwaya Cave. This place turned out to be different from what I've expected. Yes it's a cave but it's a cave with pavements and lights and rails and vending machines and. It's a cave with thingamajigs in it. There were also candles to calm the atmosphere. I thought we were about to hike inside the cave, in the end, simple leisure walking finished the job. There wasn't anything fancy, except Shinobu-chan squeezing my arm all the way. It was kinda kawaii, so I didn't want to say ouch or anything. Besides, it's a cave, so the light was still an issue. Soueba, there were places left in the dark.

"I wonder what could be hiding within those shadows"

"Huh?" Shinobu-chan turned her worried face at me.

"Ahh, nande mo nai. It's nothing, really."

"Senpai... It's quite scary in here." She looks uneasy.

"I'm not into caves either. I'm right here, so don't worry. Just squeeeeeze my arm whenever you get scared, okay?" Yet, she has been squeezing me real hard ever since we got inside, and here I'm telling her to halt the blood flow through my arms.

"Look! We're almost out of the cave." Finally, we made it outside. It wasn't a long journey actually, compared to our last stop, Enoshima Aquarium.

Whew, all this walking sure made me hungry. Fortunately, when we've reached the cave's exit, it was almost lunchtime. Let's see... Soueba. We had lunch in Inamuragasaki Park.

"Look! Nobody's in the gazebo! Let's make a run for it." the sun was up directly above us. It was really hot! We needed some shade to eat. Her classmates had huge umbrellas and mats with them. So, there's no problem. When we made it to the gazebo... "Aachoo!"

"HUH?! Oh no! I forgot Senpai's obento!" My world came tumbling down. "Gomen nasai! Gomen! I'm sorry! Very sorry, senpai! I'm sorry. Sumi Masen."

"Hey, hey. Come on. Don't be so hard on yourself. Uhmm... Shinobu-chan, put down that fork." Before she hurts herself. What happened to the chopsticks?

"Here, you can have some of mine. Better yet, please have mine instead."

"Wow, it looks delicious!" Demo, as a man, it's not right to take her lunch away. I'm sure she's hungry too, plus her lunch is only right for her. Taking some of her delicious shrimp puffs and seafood crumble together with soy sauce and tofus... I MUST HAVE HER LUNCH. GIMME'! No... no... Keitaro, fight it. Fight it. It's not enough for Shinobu-chan and I'm sure it'll hang your appetite if both of you shared.

"Shinobu-chan, it has been a long trip. It's good for you to eat your lunch. I'm sure we'll have more sites to visit, so you need your energy."

"Demo..."

"I'll be fine, I'm sure there are lots of food stalls in here. Stay here, I'll be back okay?"

"O- okay..." she turned her face down. I stared at her face, she's sad as it may seem.

"Uh, Shinobu-chan. Can I have a bite of your Shrimp Tempura?"

There was color in her face again. "Hai!"

and a gleam of light shone upon me. "Yumai! Oishi! You're really into this, Shinobu!" It was a taste of heaven! Damn, if it's this good, I'll cry out loud on the bus!

"Senpai..."

"Dya, I'll be back, okay? Please wait for me here."

I was able to find a decent lunch and headed back to the gazebo. I found out Shinobu-chan didn't touch her food yet. Was she waiting for me?

"Ano... Gomen if you've waited for me. But you should've started eating without me, you know? I guess your food's cold by now. "

"Daijobou. You weren't out that long, Keitaro-senpai. Plus, I'm responsible for forgetting your obento. I deserve the cold treatment."

"Haha. What are you talking about? Come on! Let's eat! Ittedakimasu!"

Next stop: Lake Ashi and Mt. Komagatake

field trip day 1: as it unfolds

2006-03-28T00:11:00.001+08:00

When we got off the tourist liner, I felt the supply of blood pouring down my feet once again. Apparently, all that sitting for too long made them sleep. I couldn't feel my other leg so I fell on one knee when we made landfall. Heck, I didn't know our trip to the Enoshima Aquarium took that long.

"Gyah! Keitaro-senpai?! Are you alright?! Senpai?" she was so worried. I have to make her calm down before she gets a heart attack.

"Keitaro-san? Are you okay?" Her teacher saw me.

"Yes sir. No problem to it." I told her teacher. "Shinobu-chan. I'm okay. I'm fine, don't worry. My leg. It just slept. That's all." after five seconds or so, I gathered my strength and momentum to stand up. "Alrighty then, let's go." I noticed Shinobu-chan carrying a heavy backpack. "Here, let me carry your bag for you, Shinobu-chan."

"Ano... I'm such a bother..." her soft words.

"Iye, Iye. I insist." from the looks of it, the bag's quite heavy for Shinobu-chan. Besides, I shouldn't let her carry that so much load.

"I- if you insist, senpai. Demo, be careful."

"Do you have something fragile inside your bag? A drinking glass perhaps?" She should've brought paper cups instead. However...

"Uhm, I only have my notebook, our bento, pens, paper, pencils..." did she say pencil?

"Oh you, brought your pencil with you? That's great, that way I could sketch everything on our trip! I forgot my pencil. Can I borrow yours, later?"

"Hai." Wee!
"Still, you don't have any breakables inside your bag right?"
"Hai. Ano... Do be careful of yourself, Keitaro-senpai." she said.

"Shinobu... thanks." I was touched. "Yare, yare. Let's get going. I think we're being left behind." Aww, she's so cute. I mean... nevermind.

"Alright, people. Lineup!" yelled the teacher.

Finally, we entered the compound. One word: Sugoi! I've never seen like it before. A giant aquarium. We had stepped into another world. It's cliche and so? I've never seen anything like it. Animals of the deep of different shapes and sizes filled the aquarium with vivid colors. I was hypnotized and I had no choice but to take a closer look at the glass window. I guess I got hooked! Get it? Fish? Hooked? Oh, forget it. I have a hopeless humor.

"Just a reminder for the parents and guardians: Please stick together. It's easy to get lost inside. If someone happens to be absent, report it immediately to the teachers or staff of the Enoshima Aquarium. They have a paging system all over the compound. Even at the parking lot. We won't be able to leave unless everybody's present. Or you could call them through your cellphone if you have one..." some reminders from Shinobu's teacher.

"Ano... Senpai? Ca- Can we hold hands? That way, we won't get separated." she's right. It's common sense.

"Uhh... Okay." Wah, her hands are so soft -- and cold. "Ano... Are you nervous?"

"Betsu ni. I'm rather excited. Plus, isn't it cold inside? Ehehe."

"You're cold? That's no good. Here. You could wear my jacket. Gomen, if it wreaks or anything. At least, it'll keep you warm for the moment."

"That's no good too! You shouldn't push yourself. I'm the klutz who forgoy my own jacket. Likewise, I can handle this cold, senpai."

"Here, I dont want to see you cold. And you're already shivering. Not to worry, just take my jacket. I'm good to go. I'll just chill." -- yeah, a bit of sarcasm. No, really, I'm used to cold climates. The moment I took off my jacket, man, I did feel the chill. But, I managed.

When Shinobu-chan saw the shark swim by, her grip suddenly became stronger. Ow. Ow! It actually hurts. I can see that she's really scared.

However, not only were there fishes, there were also mammals such as seals, dolphins and whales. I love dolphins. I love to watch them propel themselves and perform sorts of flips. They're smart too, right? Maybe if I could get them to take the Toudai entrance exam... stooopid.

Two hours passed and it was time to go. The next place to visit: Enoshima Iwaya Cave.

field trip day 1: on our way to first base

2006-03-28T00:11:00.000+08:00

"Good, she's asleep..." Since I can't sleep beside her, I guess I'll just sleep in a corner. More like sit in a corner and hope I could fall asleep. Anyway, it can't be helped. It's not her fault I forgot my sleeping bag. I knew it would happen.
"Sigh... her sleeping face is kawaii." Now, I can write on this pesky journal. I made it. So far, so good. I can't believe it.

We went to a lot of sights this day. I'm glad Shinobu-chan enjoyed each of the places we've visited. Now that I think about it, I did enjoy them too. Even if there were a lot walking, a lot of talking, a lot of hearing, a lot of looking, a lot of thinking and a lot of whatever we were doing , it makes me kinda' proud. It's exhausting but we had accomplished so much today. I'm very happy to be with Shinobu-chan on her field trip. I've never experienced this sensation in my entire life.

"Oh yeah, the field trip." I almost forgot.

It was a long trip on our way to first base We were riding on a tourist bus. I didn't notice that it was a tourist bus, until this guy picked up a mic -- and started talking by himself. I say by himself because nobody was listening to him.

It was really boring inside the bus. No radio, no tv. Everybody stayed in their seats while the tourist guide made himself busy by yammering "on your left is" "on your right is" over and over again. I really wanted to sleep to take some time off the travel, but he was too loud, I tell ya! It's as if he shared his whole life on the bus. I haven't been able to doze- off a little.

"Keitaro-senpai." Shinobu-chan called me. She was sitting beside me.

"Nani?"

"If you like... I can tell the the tourist guide to... keep quiet." That would be a great idea! But... no. It's embarrassing. I couldn't let her do that. I don't like anybody to feel weird including that tourist guide. So I told her...

"It's alright." No it's not! "Besides, someone might actually be enjoying the trip right now. I don't want to spoil the fun." Speak for yourself.

By the time we got to Enoshima aquarium, first base, everybody inside the bus rushed out like wild horses. I can't blame them.

TBC...

not feeling right

2006-03-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

"Can you be my chaperone for the field trip?" Shinobu-chan asked. She was fully equipped complete with puppy-dog eyes and a face so hard to resist.
"Uhh..." I stuttered. "Lemme' check if I'm free next monday." I just had to make an excuse. I was almost convinced to say yes. Luckily, I managed to get a grip.

What would they think of me, when I'll join Shinobu-chan on that field trip. I'm going to be stuck with her on that day! What would Narusegawa feel? Crap! But it's just Shinobu! It's just her! She's just a High School student and I'm already in College. She's young. Oh now I'm just being hysterical! What the hell am I saying?!

"...but it sounds like a... DATE!" Yes, it seems like a date! I hope we won't look like a couple. On the other hand, we might look like siblings on that trip.

Moreover, I don't want to say no. I don't want to let her down. Maybe she needs to join the field trip to earn extra points. Anyway, it's just a field trip. I think it's okay. After all, Shinobu's the one who asked me as her chaperone.

It's all coming so fast. I don't know my schedule yet for next week. Well, I don't have plans for next week but I might be expected for someone. In any rate, I could re- schedule for any unexpected appointments. Besides, it's summer break (and Shinobu-chan still has a class field trip, oh boy).

I guess I'm coming with her. I hope everything's going to be okay.

just what I needed

2006-03-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Finals week. It's just what I need for being in a miserable situation. It's just the fad for having a miserable life. Today's Sunday, the start and the critical point of the week. Panic starts now. Okay, this week's going to be one site for a fight. If I study harder, unlike before, maybe I'll be able to get over the week without any fuss. Slow but steady will do. That's it! So I'll study slow but steady. I have to discipline myself from now on. This is College after all.

"However..." I can't help thinking of what happened lately.

After all the things I've done? Some people think I'm nothing. Before their sight, I'm still a pervert or stupid or what not. I hate it, even if it's suppose to be funny. Who's laughing? I know I'm not.

In that case, it's best to stay away and be quiet. I'm waiting for the right time to spill out the beans... Make that: throw the beans at them. But frankly, I prefer not to do it -- throw the beans that is.

"Yeah, it hurts to swallow what about the ruckus. But wouldn't it hurt more if others get hurt?" Good point.

It won't help if you blame other people. Words alone will not wipe the spilled milk. It would contribute to a louder commotion.

"So what now?" Maybe -- take time?

Sheesh. I don't know. I'm not the kind of guy that they're thinking. But I do know that I have finals coming up this week and I need to hit the books. It's already past eleven. I'm not getting any better for my exam complaining about every bit of my problem.

I'm falling apart

2006-03-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

After all the hardwork, I'm starting to realize that I'm not fit to study in Toudai. I'm beginning to doubt everything around me. Becoming manager of the inn, Narusegawa, the promise and even why I'm in this world; am I worthy of such precious moments?

I failed my College Algebra and Trigonometry exam today. Well, my paper hasn't been checked yet, but I can tell. I left half of my paper blank. Moreover, I am very unsure to my answers for the remaining questions. It's a clear sign of failure. It's a clear image of me.

"Isn't it a little too early to tell, Keitaro?" are my assumptions too soon to tell?

Even I can't answer that question. Nobody can. Even if somebody would walk through my room and read this, he / she won't help me. AND even if such a thing may happen, I prefer not to let somebody help me this time. It's now or never for me. Apparently, "never" is on the upper hand.

"I am basing my opinion on the things I'm seeing." even if these facts behold before my eyes, it's hard to swallow and accept them.

I am slowly falling apart. I can feel myself crumbling, bit by bit. It's only a manner of time, before I slit my hand.

what a relief

2006-02-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

Yokatta! I'm so glad it's over.

I know I flunked my Philosophy exam. But I countered my failure in the makeup exam. It's a good thing my professor's giving out makeup exams. I've been consulting him over and over for an advice on how to improve. I also told him that I'm working part- time jobs. I guess he understood my position.

There have been rumors that Su's coming back to her kingdom, Molmol. However, the tides have turned eventually. Su's parents have decided to let her stay and send her money weekly. Over the past, Su's receiving her money monthly. She's overjoyed when she heard the news.

"You better watch out for Kitsune." I whispered to the air.

philo madness

2006-01-17T16:53:00.000+08:00

"Like a blabbling idiot, I held my stand."

I had my Long Exam today in Philo I in a form of an interview. Geez! I feel stupid in front of him. All I got in return is a blank face. I don't even know if my answers were close -- or dead cold. I now know the stupid feeling of getting interviewed without knowing if you're answering right or not.

"It's too painful to reminisce."

The prof. asked me about the difference between denotation and connotation. I answered that denotation relies on the literal meaning based on the dictionary. On the other hand, the connotation of a term relies on the experiences of individuals on how they associate the said term. I got a blank face in return.

He asked me what's the meaning of referential theory of meaning. I answered that it's the object being refered to and its corresponding meaning. Again, blank face.

"Where does the meaning reside?" my professor asked.

"It does not reside on the denotation or the connotation. It depends. It resides on the concept on how the term is used on a language game." again, blank face.

"Thank you very much for the time. I'll be seeing you on our next meeting. You may go now." at last, I saw a smile from him.

Then, I made my way out of the room. I told Naru what happened and what were some of my answers. She told me that I answered some of them correctly. Boy, it's great to hear that coming from an expert. I'm glad it's over.

think again

2006-01-13T07:52:00.000+08:00

I have no idea college could be this hard! I feel like I'm falling apart. My positive thoughts crumble before me while I receive a failing grade one after the other. I'm the lowest kind of student the world has ever known. Nobody's worse than me. I can't even be the line between failure and success.

What will ever happen to me. Passing through Toudai is one thing, studying for the keep is another. I'm just fit to pass and nothing more. If I can't do it, they can. This can't be. I was able to pass the entrance exam.

Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. 'night.