Boarders of Hinata Boardoms

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

INSERT TITLE: even when you're having fun

I haven't explained what happened during Kanako's birthday. I'm just really depressed right now. If I haven't told Kitsune-san about it, if she wasn't there to be my outlet for this horrible feeling, I would've broken down. I've been working so hard. What happened?


"There's been a car crash... sensei... He's in the hospital right now. And he's in a coma." This is what woke me up on during that Monday morning. When I left the room, I saw everyone involved in the project, silent and mourning. "The department of Literature also gave us a notice that the autobiography will be reviewed... most likely scrapped, Keitaro-san. This is all our fault for being too full of ourselves." my colleague remarked.


Everyone didn't go home. I couldn't go home. It's like everyone felt responsible. Sensei was drunk but we made that party. Someone could've at least told Sensei to stay in campus instead of making him drive home. The air was very serious. It was hard to breathe. And when the brain doesn't get enough air, it suffocates. It loses itself. I couldn't think straight.

How could we do this?


I've never seen so much emotion explode in the room. There was tension, people blamed other people. There was sadness, the students were very concerned about the accident and Sensei's family. There was grief, my friends admit that it's their fault. There was frustration, some of us felt that everything was a waste. There was confusion, no one knew what to do. There was grief, my friend who celebrated his birthday was affected the most; I mean, it was a birthday party as well.

We decided to come home around 11pm. I was really tired. I was dragging my feet. I was looking down. And similar to hypothermia, I wanted sleep so bad, my mind was telling me that it's fine to sleep on the pavement. However, when I saw the crowd and the lights on the Hinata Sou's lobby, I didn't know how to face everybody.

It was Kanako's birthday.


"I... I forgot." I said to everybody. And Naru gave me a straight uppercut.


I'm tired. After the party. I didn't spend much time with everyone. I went straight to bed. after ten minutes of sleep, or nap, or dozing or whatever you call it, I became wide awake. I was being haunted by what happened in campus. I went out for some fresh air. And Kitsune-san saw me. She joined me and I told her what happened. I didn't care anymore and I just stayed up until sunrise.

Today's Wednesday now, and I still wasn't able to sleep right. My colleagues said that they haven't received any news about Sensei or about the department's decision yet. So I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

logged at 9:02 AM
SIGNED : Keitaro